“To
the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord):
A wife must not separate from her husband. But if
she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled
to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his
wife” (1 Cor. 7:10,11).
In relation
to brothers and sisters in Christ, we believe divorce
is contrary to the commandments of Christ; and that
if a believer is divorced, remarriage to another partner
should be out of the question as long as any possibility
remains for a reconciliation.
“But
for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord
God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and
while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s
ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the
Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out
of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man
said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh
of my flesh; she shall be called “woman”,
for she was taken out of man.’ For this reason
a man will leave his father and mother and be united
to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man
and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame”
(Gen. 20:20b-25).
“Some
Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, ‘Is
it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and
every reason?’ ‘Haven’t you read,’
he replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator
made them male and female, and said, “For this
reason a man will leave his father and mother and
be united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh”? So they are no longer two, but one.
Therefore what God has joined together, let man not
separate’” (Matt. 19:3-6).
God’s
purpose was clearly that man and woman joined together
in marriage should be joined together for life. Only
the death of one of the parties should terminate the
bond. It is easy to see various reasons for this.
The very method of Eve’s formation (“bone
of my bones, and flesh of my flesh”) laid the
basis for this indissolubility; the mental and moral
qualities of man call for it; and the purposes of
marriage in the increase and nurture of the race demand
it.
It is plain
that estrangements and separations between husbands
and wives, whenever and wherever they exist, are incompatible
with the high standard of conduct which the Bible
sets forth. In the light of this exalted teaching,
it is considered that where estrangement is threatened
between husband and wife it is a Christian duty to
seek patiently and actively a renewal or resumption
of normal relationship.
Not only
is this the duty of husband to wife and wife to husband,
but also of those who can offer wise counsel with
patient understanding. Where estrangement followed
by separation has already happened, and while reunion
is still a possibility, the pursuit of divorce and
remarriage is a definite negation of the teaching
of the Lord — because the successful pursuit
of such a “solution” removes forever the
possibility of reconciliation. These considerations
apply with added force where there are children to
consider.
“It
has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife
must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except
for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to commit adultery,
and anyone who marries a woman so divorced commits
adultery” (Matt. 5:31,32).
“‘Why
then,’ they asked, ‘did Moses command
that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce
and send her away?’ Jesus replied, ‘Moses
permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts
were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except
for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman
commits adultery’” (Matt. 19:7-9).
Divorce
obtained by a brother or sister on any ground except
that allowed by Jesus is a sin which cannot be overlooked.
Nevertheless, the ecclesia should not exclude the
possibility of true repentance after the fact. Furthermore,
while remarriage by a divorced person, or marriage
with a divorced person, are contrary to the highest
ideals as expressed by Christ, it is possible to envision
circumstances in which it would be unjust for an ecclesia
to lay down a course of action without discrimination.
In dealing
with all who come short of the divine ideal, our aim
should be, not only to admonish and rebuke, but also
to restore. While trying to maintain to the fullest
the high standards of Christ’s teaching, we
must beware of slipping unconsciously into an attitude
toward offenders which the Lord would condemn. To
achieve the right balance in these matters in the
spirit of our Lord’s teaching, calls for prayerful
and persistent effort and humility of mind.